Postpartum Survival Checklist

Things you ACTUALLY need when preparing for baby:

Eff the onesies and the cute hooded towels… okay, they’re real cute and you will need them too- but this list is born of my experience in the last two weeks as a vaginal-birthing, milk-producing, first-time Mama. 

This is my Holy Grail of what I actually needed- what I texted my people to bring- and what I would never Not have on hand were I crazy enough to do this birthing thing again.

Without further ado- the list of things you Actually Need for postpartum:

– Two hospital-issue peri bottles. (One that stays in your main bathroom, one that goes in your diaper bag for when you dare to leave the house.)

– Four 4 kg containers of Epsom salts (Walmart, Costco, Shopper’s). (Your vagina will hurt. Your bum bum will hurt. If you’re like me with nerve pain and a giant episiotomy- Everything will hurt. You will want to Live in an Epsom salt bath. Don’t be a me, either. You aren’t sprinkling fairy dust in those 4-5 inches of water. TWO CUPS of Epsom salts in each bath. That’s what you need. It’s A Godsend.)

– Kotex brand pads; three different sizes. (One super thick pad (12 or so) for the first 3 days postpartum. One medium thick pad (20 or so) for to make frozen padsicles with. One thinner pad you’ll actually enjoy using when you get out of the hospital (40 of those). I tried other brands but I have sensitive skin and Kotex is the most friendly for angry beavers.)

– ‘Carefree’ thong panty liners (You’ll love these for past-day-10 when you’re not fully back to normal but you don’t want to ruin all your nice skivvies)

– Costco sized Advil/ibuprofen (2-4 of those every 4 hours for the first 10 days; even when you feel fine. Skip a dose and you won’t feel fine the next 8 hours. Keep a stash of these in a salad dressing container in your diaper bag too)

– Costco sized Tylenol (I only needed Tylenol for the first 4 days. But it’s good to have around the house anyhow.)

– Vitamin Water (When you start producing milk, you’ll be thirsty as all hell. Might as well get some vitamins and a few calories out of it while you’re at it.)

– Boost/Ensure/equivalent protein drinks (I woke up Raging Hungry every morning at 4- 4:30 am. Two of those mornings I made myself a full eggs and bacon meal at 4 am… ain’t nobody got time for that. Vanilla Boost or Ensures in your fridge will hold you over until it’s real wake up time.) (P.S. ‘Real wake up time’ is a thing. Your child’s feeding schedule will have you awake and dinking around on your phone and trying to make meals at 3:30 am because they’re awake so now you’re awake. Do not fall into the ‘fake wake up time’ trap and try to start being human at 3:30 am. Feed the child. Go back to bed. You can start being human in a few more hours, when it’s ‘real wake up time’.)

– Protein bars (Ever tried making a full eggs and bacon meal for yourself while simultaneously feeding a newborn? It doesn’t happen. Smash a protein bar instead, for those first few weeks.)

– Lindt milk chocolate and dark chocolate (Think of whatever food you crave when you’re pissy and get your period real bad. That’s what you’re going to want in postpartum too. Mine was and is Lindt milk chocolate. You wanna see my newborn? It’ll cost you at Least one Lindt chocolate item as an entry fee.)

– La Senza 100% cotton full bum/boy short underwear; at Least 7 pairs (You a thong-wearer now? Think anal dental floss is cute and fashionable? Vaginal birth will take care of that for you. Nobody wants floss in there postpartum. Want soft pink, floral granny pannies to make yourself feel better about your sudden loser leap to Unsexy town?! Well they’re gonna get covered in blood, and bloody flowers aren’t pretty either. So- black. 100% cotton, black, seamless as possible.)

– 3 pairs of your hubby/partner’s favourite boxers. (Try them on before birth when you’re nice and fat. Find the three pairs you like the most. They’re Yours know. They go in your underwear drawer. Tell hubby he can get them back in about three months time.)

– 5 100% cotton ridiculously soft black tank tops. (Your new ‘home outfit’ of choice will be full bum black undies or your hubby’s boxers and a black tank top, no bra. Bra if your milk has come in. You’ll want a tank top; wrestling a tit out for chest to chest or nursing when you’re wearing a t shirt is an unnecessary sport. Tank tops. Stretchy.)

– 2 housecoats; one remotely appealing, one Disgusting. (When people come to visit- the black, potentially-good-looking one goes on. When they leave- the Costco-issue, dusty rose, crushed velvet housecoat goes back on.)

– Gravol for a sleeping aid. (Got someone to do the night feeds? Need to turn your brain off? Gravol. Boom.)

– Sudafed, Vitamin B6, Earth Mama’s No More Milk Tea, Lansinoh ice boobs and two heads of green cabbage (For drying up milk/weaning)

– At least 10 super soft and big receiving blankets, and 10 burp cloths (Your baby and you will likely be naked a lot in those first couple days. Naked is Awesome- naked and covered in your baby’s regurg is Not.)

– A full fridge of Fresh food (Maybe you’re smart. Maybe you prepped a bunch of freezer food and stocked up on carbs and pantry foods beforehand. Good for you. But if you’re anything like me- you’ll have done all that food prep pre-birth. Then birthed the glorious baby. Then came home and craved Nothing but bananas, full fat yogurt, and fresh fruit. Trust me- roaming the aisles of walmart with a fresh vagina wound cuz you can’t stop craving fresh fruit is not fun. Have that shit on hand. Or beg people to bring it to you. Entrance fee to your home = one bunch of bananas. A bag of fresh green grapes. Etc.)

I’m sure there are things I’m forgetting- but that is my immediate list of things I could Not have lived without for the first 15 days of postpartum. 

If you’re 36 weeks or more pregnant- go get All these things. You can thank me later.

If you have a friend or family member who’s third trimester pregnant- go buy some or all of these things for her. She can thank me later. :)-

Xo, Em

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Postpartum Survival Checklist

  1. Hahaha yes, all these things! For the c-section mamas, I would add super comfy pj pants, fitted to 9-month preggo belly and not “hipster” height. I also prioritized ones with pockets. And granny panties / highwaisted panties- absolutely no waistlists below your bellybutton for 4 weeks in my opinion. I also did XL size tank tops + nursing bra (and so so so many nursing pads).

    Also- nursing pillow, a cute small one. Regardless of breastfeeding or bottle feeding, it keeps pressure off your midsection. Also a great way to hold napping baby without pressure on midsection, and bonus cozy thing for baby to nap in.

    My snacks of choice were mini trail mix packs from Costco, muffins, hardboiled eggs, and fruit. And Cece lived in footed sleepers, she was born in fall so it was cooler.

    Liked by 1 person

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