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Suck Muppet & The New Tooth

My sweet little Sadie has annoyed me for the past two days.

She is cutting her first little baby tooth and being incredibly dramatic about it.

I joked to Ryan the other day that when she cuts her molars I’m going to become a full blown alcoholic, if this is how she treats a little bottom front tooth.

So because I’m never in this space, the space where my child annoys me, I want to write about it and explore it.

Sadie, so far, has been a friggin dream. She is alert, inquisitive, warm, people-oriented, sweet and independent.

She toodles around the living room and kitchen, selects her own toys and busies herself with them. I get to do most household things in the same space as her without having to lord over her every move.

Well, at 3 months she started standing, by 4 months she only wanted to stand at all times (that includes diaper changes), by 5 months she was starting to crawl, and now at 6 months she is starting to pull herself up on anything that looks like fair game (the oven bottom drawer, the bottom of a foot stool, the footrest on our ikea chairs, a bag of flour that is taller than her).

So now I am trying to slice things, bake things, grate things, and deal with hot food things, while simultaneously making sure my tiny human doesn’t smash her giant bobble head on my very unforgiving tile kitchen floor (again).

Cooking has become a deathly sport, for her and I. While I watch her and chop cucumbers, will I lose the tip of my pinky first, or will she lose her balance and smash her head on the corner of the drawer (again)?

Anyhow, until two days ago, the ‘who might perish in the kitchen’ game was manageable. But then- The Tooth.

For the past 48 hours, my previously very amenable and self-satisfied little creature has become what Ryan and I have come to call ‘Suck Muppet’.

Suck Muppet is IN LOVE with Mommy.

Suck Muppet will Wail at the top of her lungs if Mommy appears to be moving away from her.

Suck Muppet forgets to Breathe she cries so hard when Mommy does in fact, step away from her for a mere moment.

Suck Muppet will not sleep in her own crib anymore. Only in Mommy’s armpit.

Suck Muppet does not play with her toys if Mommy is not Right There beside her.

If Mommy is on the couch watching her like she used to, Suck Muppet will just crawl over to Mommy, stretch her arms up and cry for Mommy to hold her.

Suck Muppet is a monster.

Typically all I need is 5 minutes away from my baby before I crave her and miss her again, but with Ryan away at work during the week as often as he is, I don’t have that 5 minute break to reset my Mom clock.

So last night I decided I would finally allow myself a shower. One act, all day, for my own benefit.

I dragged Suck Muppet’s exersaucer into the bathroom. Put it right outside the frosted glass doors. Stepped into the shower. Exhaled.

Then the screaming began.

It didn’t matter that I had brought her in Right Beside Me. That she was within her required 5 feet of comfort. That I was singing and talking to her from inside the shower and periodically poking my head out to wave and say hello.

I finished the shower.

I scooped her up in my arms.

I put her in her jammies and brought her to bed with me.

I let her fall asleep in my armpit.

I told myself tomorrow was another day, and we fell asleep.

And in fact, today was much better.

She’s still clingy, but not as bad, and I took myself out of the house and had a great catch-up with a friend at the mall, and got more things done around the house than I did yesterday and I found myself enjoying her again.

I told a Mom-friend about this today and she died laughing at me. She said she loves it when Moms like me who always say our babies are perfect finally hit a breaking point and admit that from time to time our babies suck.

So I guess that’s what I’m here to say.

99% of the time, Sadie is awesome and I have a blast being her Mama.

And the other 1% of the time- there is Suck Muppet.

For a peek into my future- here’s a chart of baby’s tooth development that makes me shiver in my Mom booties.

XO, Em

I’m Becoming Me Again

When I started this blog as a Very new mom, I wondered if there would be times that the blog would go dark because I would be so busy with the baby that I wouldn’t have time to write. Well, my last post was August 20th, so clearly that has happened.

I wondered, as a Very new mom, what ‘too busy to write’ would look like. And I’m laughing now because ‘too busy’ has not been at all what I had pictured.

My child is an angel. I know- honestly, I’m sure Everyone at some point thinks that, but Sadie is a gem. She sleeps deep and often. She is alert, active and very independent. She has never been sick. She laughs and screams and makes hilarious growling noises but very, very rarely makes any noise that sounds like discomfort. She is So wonderful that we don’t wish to have a second because surely he or she will be Satan, Sadie is so wonderful in comparison.

All that said- I thought ‘busy’ would look like colic. Gripe water. Endless nights and tears and cries that blurred into days. Sleeplessness that draped everything in a fog of misery. But with Sadie- busy doesn’t look anything like that.

It looks like Sadie and I nestled deep into our cozy corner of the couch, snuggling with each other and staring into each other’s eyes. It looks like me dying laughing while she violently attacks her exersaucer toys with gleeful abandon. It looks like me doing a jig to country music in the kitchen while she stares up at me from her play mat on the kitchen floor; giggling already cuz even at 6 months, she knows her mama can’t dance worth a hill of beans.

In these moments, I am ‘too busy’ to pick up a phone call. ‘Too busy’ to break free from the cozy corner of the couch and do all the adult things I need to do, because snuggling takes priority over all else. When Ryan asks ‘What did you do today?’ ‘Snuggle’ is an appropriate answer. Imagine that! Instead of a work day, I get to stay at home and make 50% of my previous income so that I can get in a full 8 hours of snuggling.

It has been Awesome. I had No idea that I could love and be so IN love with my own baby. I wouldn’t change the last 6 months for the world.

But today I went to the dentist- a new dentist, in Airdrie- and I noticed that I was frazzled. I was haphazard and drove to the wrong clinic first and so was quite flustered when I had to put my lace-up winter boots back on again and hop back in the car and head to the real one. The front desk lady asked me if I had remembered to fill in the new patient forms she had emailed me almost a month ago. I hadn’t. Had I remembered to get my x-rays from my old dentist in Canmore like I said I would? Nope. As I was answering her questions, I noticed I was bumbling over my words and I think I even threw in a few nervous swear words. As in, ‘Shit, I’m sorry I forgot to do that!’ or some such. There was no one else in the waiting room, but really, shouldn’t I have mastered being able to speak full sentences without profanity by 33 years old??

I had to fill in some forms and I noticed that my writing was Terrible. It was the scrawl of someone who hadn’t had occasion to have to wield a writing instrument for the past 6 months. The forms asked my occupation. I wrote ‘N/A’. I’m planning on going back to work when my mat leave is up but I have no idea what that work will look like. I’ve thought about freelance editing, I’ve thought about social media consulting, I’ve thought about copywriting or starting my own small marketing business, but really- I don’t have a clue yet.

And I realized in that dentist’s office that snuggling for a whole day may no longer be all that I need. I might need to get back out there and interact with adult humans more regularly so that I don’t nervously swear at nice little office ladies.

It took the dentist 3 units of scaling to scrape all the accumulated gunk off my chompers. I explained that I haven’t bothered to see a dentist since I got pregnant. I explained that as a new mom, I don’t floss my teeth as often as I should. She smiled knowingly as a mother of boys aged 7 & 9 and said that she likes to floss her teeth while she watches her Netflix for 20 minutes at night while riding her stationary bike. And I thought ‘Oh Shit! If this is what I have to look forward to as a working mom, I need to start stepping up my game Now so that I’m not a complete clusterf*#k by the time I return to the working world.’

I finished at the dentist and drove to collect my small human from my amazing friends who had watched her for the appointment. They are sleep training champions, so I decided to start there. I begged them for their knowledge and jotted some notes down in my iPhone, resolving to start tonight, even if Ryan is out of town and I don’t have a clue what I’m doing. If I can start becoming myself again by regaining some precious hours at the end of the day, then that is a good start.

I’m currently typing this out in my bed, propped up on my pillows, with the baby monitor beside me. My child, who is normally partying until 11:00 pm, is fast asleep and has (mostly) been that way since 7:00 pm. I am writing this blog and feeling so grateful to be able to hit the keyboard again. Emily likes to do that- I remember this now.

The next step is to find a hot yoga studio in Airdrie that offers childcare. I remember that Emily used to love hot yoga in the winter. After that- I’ll tackle my wedding planning. After that- I’ll decide what I’m going to do for back to work and how to get there.

For today- I have clean teeth, a sleeping child, and a really good feeling. I feel myself again.

XO, Em